Monday, June 9, 2008

67 Things That Might Kill You (silly song)

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An original song by Peri Urban (direct to camera).

The birth canal, the doctors and nurses,
Childhood ailments, ancient curses,
A best friend with a borrowed gun,
Knives and glass and too much sun,
Bicycles, baseball bats, bad vibes,
Gardening implements, sharp knives

Weedkiller, shampoo eventually,
Gamma radiation from an old TV,
A badly wired domestic appliance,
Improper application of bad science
The neighbour from hell, a really bad smell,
A brick around your ankle in the wishing well22

Sex, coffee, drugs and a really fast car
Blunt force trauma with an iron bar
Too much sugar, too many bad fats
Lions, tigers, all the big cats
Mad dogs, foreigners, hobos in the park
Policemen, presidents, pissing in the dark38

Domestic bleach, dirty needles, heavy chains
Derailed trains, crashing planes,
Beautiful sex with a deadly stranger,
Ignoring warnings of immanent danger,
Abseiling, hang gliding, doing what you like
Surfing the web on your motorbike49

Cigarettes, whisky, wild, wild women,
Getting too frisky with a shark whilst swimming
Playing Russian roulette with a cheating bastard
Going too fast and then going even faster
Brick wall, long fall
Getting in the middle of a natural disaster58

It doesn't matter if you're a Hollywood star
You can get decapitated in a top down car
Walking on the water if you're not the son of god
Is a very stupid thing to do and really rather odd
So, never pluck a chicken in a landslide
You might wake up and find you've died

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